Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Unless You Have Kids, You Will Never Get It!


I look at my unmarried friends and think, what do they do with all their free time? I can't even remember what it felt like to have a WHOLE night of UNINTERRUPTED sleep, to take a shower without someone knocking on the door crying for me, to just sit in the TV room and drink my tea without little monkeys jumping around and me yelling "be careful, hot tea, hot tea!" What did it feel like not to have to rush to preschool before work and then after work again, feeling that every minute counts. To be able to work late without worrying that your child might be hungry, sleepy or both?

It's hard for non-married women to understand what it is really like to have kids! Actually, it is hard for women who have kids to really understand what it is like to have kids, but it all just kind of happens.

You wake up realising that the responsibility just accumulated, the dependencies just grew, the sacrifices have become necessary. Some new people, actual human beings are depending on you to make their lives liveable. To protect and take care of them. To teach them right from wrong. To stand by them and be their sense of security.

It is beyond hard, but to those tiny people who have temporarily robbed you of your sanity, you are life. With all its difficulties, you will never want things to go back to the way they were, except maybe the sleeping part :)

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

A Tearful Visit To The Mall

Yesterday evening, in my attempt to do something nice for my 3-year-old, I  bought him a school bag. At the shop, all things were grand and cheerful, we chose the style together, tried on different alternatives, laughed when some looked a bit odd and finally chose the one he loved with cheers and celebrations.

Less than 5 minutes later, literally, I had a screaming toddler, throw his most public tantrum yet. All my attempts to defuse the situation had failed. And so, I ended up carrying a screaming and kicking boy, with all judgmental eyes following me. 

Of course, I also got strangers' comments directed at Yousef: "it is inappropriate to behave like this," "stop crying it's not nice," which only escalated both of our bad tempers.

In the car, I finally exploded in tears myself, I don't know how I reached home with the both of us weeping!  While he later (30 minutes after) snapped out of it, my tears on the other hand kept on rolling for the remainder of the night.

"Where did I go wrong?" was my question. Was me saying "no" to his request of emptying the old bag into the new one while carrying other bags and trying to manage his 1.4 year-old sister worth all this, is my son that spoiled? 

I felt like I had failed. People saying "it's the age" doesn't make things any better. If my child is being attended to, cared for, and loved, shouldn't such behaviour be avoidable?

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Functional No More!


I can almost swear that there is an evil force that comes in the middle of the night and steals some of my brain cells (whatever is left after two pregnancy brains).

Do you ever feel that unless your phone reminder beeps, there is no way you will remember the things you should? I have been fighting and fighting to keep myself from depending on reminders, phone alerts and other notes to remind me of my errands, tasks and appointments. I have to admit, I am failing miserably!

What is it in our lives that is doing this to us (I have heard the same complain
from other mamas as well!) To make matters worse, my mother is always lecturing me about how hectic "I make my life," claiming I am doing this to myself.

Don't you find that our lives are getting more and more complicated and overwhelming? However, is it really us or our life demands behind this annoying reality?

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

When everything I request is answered by "NO"

It has lately begun to feel that all I do with my three-year-old is argue over every aspect. He has obviously learned some new tricks like screaming and yelling dramatically, completely ignoring my instructions and in many cases hitting me.

Everyone is telling me to pick my battles, my friends post links of scream-free parenting styles, and so many others advise me of ignoring his behaviour. But when I have to repeat the same instruction five times just to be ignored in the end, none of the above options is easily applicable.

I feel like he has completely shut me out and when I speak, he is not even listening.

What do you do when almost everything your toddler does is either dangerous, wrong, or disobedient.
What battles do you choose to tackle then?

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

The Teen Appeal

It is always really tricky to talk to teens about their self-image. I remember I never had that talk with my  mother and I remember feeling very uncomfortable with myself.

I was a tom-boy, never wanted to wear dresses, have long hair, or do anything that was "girly". If I analyse it, it was surely due to the fact that I was never given the right attention in terms of how to embrace the changes that were happening. I had a younger and older brother and all I wanted was to be like them.

On the other hand, having many tween and teen nieces, I now realise that it is very important to know how to talk to them about self-image, how they feel, how they dress, and their public image as well.

In this November issues of Family Flavours and Nakahat 'Ailiyeh, we cover the "Teen Appeal" and follow three teens' sense of style. They sure seem to know what they are doing way better than I did. 

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Getting Sick
Living on only three hours of sleep the night before, having a full day of attending to my job, taking my son to the doctor again, cooking tomorrow's lunch and attending to my other child who is on the track of sickness as well
, I realised that it has been so long since I was spoiled while sick like I used to be back before I became a mama.

As I prepared the tray of meds I will surely need in tonight's midnight shift, I had to choose the medication I will be taking based on not my need for it, but how it will affect others. In other words, I couldn't take the medication which will surely make me feel better yet affect my ability to attend to the kids. Rather, I had to take something less effective on the virus I contracted but will serve my family better by making sure I am alert and around to take care of them.

I am sure I am not the only mama who has ever made this decision and it must have been as exhausting and draining each time. Does the willingly and happily giving mother ever get a break of her own? Do I have to wait another 10 years until I do? When did getting a flu get so complicated?

Having kids is by far the biggest game changer of all time!

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Parents Coaching Workshop

For those of us who feel lost or confused about how we are handling our children, professional help is a great way to get back on track. Check out the below workshop with Certified Life Coach for Parents and Adolescents, Samar Sabha. 

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Unsupervised Internet

On our website www.familyflavours.com, we are asking our readers to make a vote on the following question: is it ok for children to use the internet unsupervised? My answer is definitely not. The unlimited content of every nature is more dangerous than many parents realise, in my opinion.

Even if all they do is follow their favourite celebrities, they will unfortunately be exposed to content and other users that are not suitable. So many of the "innocent and sweet" celebrities that our children watched at a young age are growing to rebel and publicly break all the rules and norms that we want for our children.

I understand the curiosity and urge for our children to want to use the internet but I believe in placing the "family computer"in the living room where we can advise our children what is suitable and what is not.

What is your opinion?
www.familyflavours.com

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Wild Imagination

I don't know what has gotten into my three-year old but his imagination has gone wild, in an negative manner! At any point during the day, he is afraid of being alone!

To make matters worse, the nights are just as hard with him waking up in tears 3-4 times a night, it's killing him and me. Telling him that there is nothing to be afraid of is not helping, and neither is ignoring it.

How long will this phase last and is it just a phrase?