Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Am I "Ruining" My Child?

How much of what we do, or don't do, really affects the upbringing and future of our children?

Nowadays, all you hear are warnings of doing this and that, stuff we grew up doing. You hear comments like: "will create insecurities, will affect his self-esteem, and will kill imagination and creativity," but is all that really true or are we just spoiling and sheltering our children too much?

I see mamas who never yell or punish, others who never use the word no but would rather "convince", and others who let their child make his own decisions, no matter how young, to "build his character". To these mamas, I must seem like an old fashioned dictator.

Yousef has been going to nursery for the past 3 days and it has not been easy. While I am positive this is normal for every child, some people are telling me I might have rushed him as he is too young and just had a new sister two weeks ago. Others are telling me it is good for him since he is mostly bored and fussy at home. I have no idea what is right or wrong!

If he is not ready, am I really scarring him?!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Letting Yousef Go

The countdown is almost over and tomorrow, Sunday June 24th, Yousef will be "attempting" to join nursery.

I have been really emotional, tears and all, when I think that he will cry for me, afraid of where I am leaving him. I used to make fun of my sisters for being so attached to their children and now I am worse.

Every night, while putting him to bed, I change my mind about signing him up. I start telling myself that he is still too young (18 months) and why not just keep him with me at home for now. Then the next morning, when he is fussy and wining from boredom and asks to go outside while I am at home caring for my new born, I change my mind again.

Anyways, there is no telling how he will react until we go tomorrow and try it out. I hope I don't embarrass myself with my crying. This is a huge step for the both of us!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Something's Gotta Give

Yousef (18 months) and new born Mona are not the best of friends. His jealousy is kicking in big time, in a dangerous and aggressive manner. He is climbing on the crib, squeezing her hands and feet like she is a talking toy, and jumping on the car seat.

I finally got a good helper for the house and am able to leave Mona with her every now and then. I feel so bad though, I used to do everything for Yousef and now with Mona, it seems like I barely hold her, moving her around from her father, to the helper, to whoever can hold her.

Everyone is telling me that Yousef, at this point, is the most important since he is the one who is experiencing the jealousy, but humouring him seems to only make it worse.

What do you think I should do?

Monday, June 18, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

I don't know if it is the hormones, my relief for not being pregnant anymore or just my maternal emotions kicking in, but I have been so crazy about my baby boy Yousef (19 months). I had Mona 9 days ago and ever since, I have been hugging, cuddling, and spoiling him.

I realised the other day that I got pregnant when he was only 10-months-old. With the morning sickness, house work and all the other responsibilities, I never gave him the real attention he wanted, even though he was always with me. I never had the patience or the time to play with him or just sit and have quality time without being too tired or too moody.

Just 9 days after having a new baby, I am going out of my way, trying to make up for the past 9 months. I can't help but question what kind of a mama I really am. I used to feel like I am a terrible mama because I was not as emotionally attached to my baby as other mothers are to theirs. I felt terrible for being so snappy with him all the time but couldn't help but feel exhausted .

For the first time since becoming a mama, I am finally comfortable and happy to be wearing my mama hat all the time.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Party Of Five

It is day six of operation "party of five". Nael, Layla, Yousef, Mona and I have been sailing smooth.

When I first had Yousef 19 months ago, my main struggle was adjusting to the fact that there is someone totally dependent on me, stuck to me 24/7; even if he was sleeping most of the day. After living with a quite active and demanding toddler, having a new born baby who is sleeping most of the day is rather refreshing.

It's been really interesting to see the relationships between Mona and the other kids develop. Layla, who was quite anxious when I was pregnant, has turned into a calm, understanding and supportive older sister. Her protective instincts over Yousef and Mona have turned her into a moderator between the two.

Yousef on the other hand is considering himself quite educated, more civilised, and way more advanced than his new baby sister. He gives her lectures when she starts to cry and laughs hysterically when she needs a diaper change, as if he doesn't use diapers too! It's quite entertaining. I hope things don't change.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Baby Mona

Finally at home with my 3-day-old baby girl who we named Mona, after her dear aunt.

So far, having a second baby is a lot easier and a more relaxed experience than the first. I remember with Yousef, I used to hover over him even when he was asleep, making sure that he was ok every second. Now, when she is asleep or quiet, I am making sure I get my rest too.

Watching Yousef's reactions to what Mona is doing is hilarious. He laughs at her when she needs a diaper change, as if he doesn't do the exact same thing! He also yells at her when she refuses the pacifier. He simply does not understand how something as valuable as his precious "ta" which is what he calls it, can be passed up. But, the jealousy is full force. When Mona is with Mama, that's who he wants and when Mona is with Baba, suddenly baba is all he needs.

As for me, I feel so relieved that everything went smoothly, that I took my precious epidural, and that I am finally going to be able to focus on raising a happy family pregnant-free!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Welcome Home Baby!

My delivery date has been scheduled to take place within the next two days. And although I knew that this day was coming, I somehow managed to busy myself with everything except the baby herself.

I completed the outdoor area of our house, completed everything that needed repair and finished any errands that I might need to do in the next 3 months.

Then, it hit me! The baby is coming in 2 days and I still didn't prepare any of her personal stuff. So yesterday, I arranged the crib, the portable cot, the car seat, and washed all her laundry. All the while, I had this nagging thought hovering over me: how is Yousef going to manage for 2 days without mama? He has never been away from me for more than 6 hours at the most. And then I realised that from now on, I will not be "only his".

It's so strange to think that I will have another baby that I will have to care for with the same dedication, someone who depends on me just as much as Yousef does. Just imagining it is making me and everyone who knows how clingy Yousef is laugh.

Any thoughts on juggling two babies?

It had to happen sometime...God help us all!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Flavour of The Day with Noora

Yousef Loves Mama

One of my favourite perks of motherhood is the unconditional love I get from Yousef. Even when I am in no mood to play or just too busy to give him attention, he is always around me, waiting for his share of mama, no matter how small. He believes anything I say and gives me a look of admiration whenever I show him something new.

When you think of it, no other person (big or small) loves you that unconditionally. My younger brother, who is about 8-years-old, always says: "your touch is like magic in Yousef's eyes", referring to how fast I can make him calm down after a fall.

I wonder how long that will last! A therapist once told me that parents have influence over their child up to the age of 6, after that so many external factors play their role and the child starts to become independent and in many cases, strives to be different from his parents.

This may sound evil but from now until the year 2016 (when Yousef turns 6) I am going to milk his love to mold him into the best kid he can be; before he starts milking my love that is :)