Flavour Of The Day With Noora

When it is only about being STUBBORN!

Dealing with a toddler who has discovered the power of resistance can take you to new levels of frustration.

Some mamas say it is the age, others say the child might be imitating a friend or sibling, and some not very encouraging comments, say it is due to the constant bickering between mama and child. Whatever the reason, it is surely something that will rock the boat.

I have tried everything: distracting him, ignoring him, playing with him, talking to him, you name it. But when his answer is no or simply does the opposite of what I asked, I feel like I have crashed into a wall.

"Pick your battles," they said, and so, I did; if he wants to wear the wrong shoe on the wrong foot, so be it. It has helped in the small things, but the big things are still a struggle. Getting dressed, taking a shower, getting into the car seat, holding my hand when crossing the street; in 99% of the cases, I get: "I don't want to," and the other day, "I am free to do as I please!" Occasionally, there is the public tantrum as a cherry on top.

To make things more fun, my younger daughter, now 17 months, is joining the rebellion.

Help!

Flavour of the Day with Noora

The Unknown Sacrifices 

How many times have you asked yourself, did my parents really sacrifice as much for me as I am sacrificing for my kids? 

For some reason, many of us find it hard to comprehend that our parents did in fact go through "all this parenting", and maybe even more. I think it puts some guilt on our shoulders knowing that we made their lives harder, and it raises our expectations from ourselves to pay them back with kindness, closeness, and obedience now that we are older. 

Throughout the day, 99% of the decisions I make revolve around my kids, whether I like it or not. When I wake up, when I go to sleep, what I do for entertainment, what I cook, what kind of job I can take and the list just goes on. 

At times, I feel it is too much, and in many cases, I childishly cry because I couldn't go after what I wanted. At other times, when my kids are having a good day, I feel very content and proud of every decision I have made. 

Whatever I am feeling, I just remind myself that mama-hood is a job at the end of the day, the more I invest the right kind of effort, the more it will pay off in the end. 

Flavours of the Day with Noora

Eid Mubarak to everyone out there!

This Eid, I focused on teaching my 3 year-old son the importance of appreciating the things we have. As I listed the house, the car, and money to buy food, Yousef suddenly listed: our wooden door, the side door, his school, his friends, his clothes, the sky, the trees and went on for another 6 things at least.

At that moment, I wished and prayed that my child would never lose what all children have, clarity and simplicity in seeing the world around them and living in the moment. It was easy for him to list so many things in less than 30 seconds because he is in fact, fully living that moment.

In my meditation course, our instructor said that one of the most important things to do is learn to live in the moment and to REALLY experience it. Examples would be: not doing anything else when eating, carefully listening to the music and lyrics without just having it on in the background, and so on.

He also said that children should be our inspiration as they perfect this technique so greatly. When they are playing, they are doing just that, when they are sleepy, that's all they want, if they are hungry, all they think of is food, and the list goes on.

Today, I realised what he meant and I realised that one of the greatest things I can do for my child is to teach him never to grow up when it comes to this!

My Shocking Three-Year Old

Every parent I know went through a moment where he or she was shocked with their child's reaction. That moment when your once very sweet daughter or son, answers back with a comment that has the ability to both infuriate you and drive you to tears.

Today, for the first time ever, my 3-year-old told me that he is "free to do as he pleases" when I asked him to do something. It was like a slap on the face and I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry! he said it so defiantly and confidentially that I had to pause for a moment to rethink of what I asked, maybe I was the one who was wrong!

It was an awful feeling to know that my son now thinks it is ok to speak to me that way!! I now understand what mamas of teens feel like!!

They say that the age 2-3 gives mom a sneak peak into what her child will be like as a teen. I wonder what I will get then!

Flavour of the Day with Noora

Going back to Work

No matter how much you love your kids, if you once had or have a career that you love, leaving work to stay at home with your babies is a lot harder than people think it is.

After three years of being a stay at home mama, I finally made it back to the office. Yet in a single moment when one of my kids is ill, fussy, or asks me to stay at home for the day, I doubt my decision of leaving.

Today, I attended a meeting where two of the other women had just had their babies too. 

If you think of it, we are all there for the same two reasons: to help provide for our children, and to maintain our sanities by getting whatever alone time we can get.

However, looking back at the three years that have been the most challenging without a doubt, it is important to do what is right for you and your family at the moment you are inclined to make the decision.  

Flavour of the Day With Noora

Raising Children Who Feel Blessed

In business school, they taught us the difference between need and want. And while as adults, we think we know the difference, marketing, advertising and social pressures have us more confused than we think. If you look at the effect of that on children, you realize that they are just as confused. 

Nothing drives me more crazy than when my son cries saying: " but I don't have this and I need it!" He is only three and I put so much effort into not spoiling him with materialistic items that this is coming as a total shock!

I have friends who never worked a day in their lives and friends who put themselves through university; some appreciate their parents and the efforts they have done, while others think they are entitled to everything.

How can we teach our children to appreciate things? Is it by not offering much? By making them earn it? By constantly reminding them of the privileges they are receiving? How do you talk to children about feeling blessed?

Loving Your Child For Who He Is

I have lately come to realise the importance of accepting your child for the person he or she is, rather than the person you want them to be. This of course, is a lot easier said than done. When you are a parent, you want your son to have lots of friends, you want him to be brave and try all the games at the park, you want him to be athletic and active, and you want him to excel at school. Because we love our children, we naturally want them to be the best or at least do good in every aspect of their lives. But when we discover a weakness that in some cases is beyond our hands, parents can easily and unknowingly fixate on making that weakness go away; and this, in my opinion is extremely unhealthy for the parent and child. I have seen parents push their children into sports, force their kids to climb heights or go on rides that terrified them, or enrol them in academic programs that are beyond their capacity, all for the sake of beating a weakness. I have seen the look of despair on these children's faces and I have to tell you, things will only get worse. It is our job as parents to love our children for who they are, what they love to do and accept that they too are human with strengths and weaknesses. Accepting and empowering our children will make them a lot stronger than forcing them to do something they cannot do.