In my daughter's swimming class which requires mamas' and babies' participation together, all of us mamas are with our babies in the water. In addition to the importance of the mama learning to teach her infant swimming skills, the importance of quality time between mama and child is constantly emphasised by the instructor.
That is why when pregnant mama with toddler came with her nanny and let the nanny go into the pool with her so, all of us mamas were a bit confused. Of course, we could all see that she was pregnant and justified the situation, yet we quietly had our judgments. None of us really got how bad the mama felt until I went into the changing rooms.
There, I found pregnant mama standing behind the lockers, crying for her crying boy! And the first thing she told me, a complete stranger to her, was"please don't think I am the type of mama who throws my child at the nanny, I always play with him and do all the activities with him, he is never without me, however when I went into the water last week, all the jumping and movement really affected my pregnant body."
I felt so sorry for her, and realised how us mama are always and forever afraid of other mamas' judgment! So many of us judge, no matter how kind and thoughtful we are. I think it comes from our innate desire to have the perfect family and the perfect kids. No matter how much we deny it, we hate to have our kids behave as kids, especially in front of strangers. And no matter how amazing you are, at some point or the other, you surely say to yourself:" I will never do that, my kids will never act like that, etc."
Yesterday, my heart went out to this crying mama behind the lockers who felt so judged and weak that she confided in a total stranger. Telling her that her situation is completely understandable did not ease her discomfort a bit, but only made her want to explain the situation more. It seems that no matter how "in control" you think you are, a mama's insecurities towards her own kids will always surface around other mamas!