Saturday, August 10, 2013

Parents' Pride

When you become a parent, you get this enormous amount of pride in your kids, especially when they they it :) You take pride in them looking good, take pride in them behaving good, take pride when they play good, and take pride in them staying out of trouble. This Eid, I realized how much my children bring me joy. For the first time in 3 years, my babies are more independent, more social and more willing to give me my space. And of course, I got the:" oh they are so adorable, so descent, so well behaved," comments that made me enjoy them even more. And I thought, if this is the way I feel now, how will I feel when Yousef scores his first goal, gets his first full mark, or does something very considerate for someone. How will I feel when Mona has her first assembly in school and performs really well? Or if she ever gets on the honor roll in school? Now I know why my father loves seeing the eight of us (my siblings and I) all together, with each of us being so different, we must have pleased him one way or the other. Now I know why my friend's mother in school "embarrassed" her daughter by jumping and cheering on graduation day. And now I know why parents like to see their children follow in their footsteps. Looking forward to soccer games, class assemblies, and much more


Reem said...

first of all masha2 allah & i really hope ALLAH protects your loved ones & grant you all your wishes this & every eid
secondly....sigh....i wish ican say the same but sadly im not surrounded by people who praise my children for how amazing they are but rather ignore any good thing they make & wait for any mistake to make a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge deal of, i know i sound like one of those moms who blame others for commenting rather than teach her kids some manners. but believe me that is not the case at all. i hear a lot of " lectures" cause i don't hit my child when he misbehaves & give him times outs instead. not because his behavior is bad in fact i think its amazing in comparison to most if not all the children i;ve seen in his age, but because its wrong not to hit a boy other wise he wont be a "man"!. i hear lot's of lectures about my kids having a bed time scadual cause its weird & no one does that & it will teach kids strange things like loving order!
it;s very frustrating when you work so hard to give your kids the best you can & when they are acting amazing &social in public & you feel proud some one close to you ruins your moment by making a comment that doesn't serve any good but just to make u feel bad.i'd really love it if people tell me how amazing my kids are behaving specially that honestly in any family gathering i find them the most social & well mannered in any group, i donno why am i the only one seeing that???

Noora said...

Dear Reem,

Hello again and I am sorry to hear about your situation. I completely understand what you are going through as I too have a friend who goes through the same exact thing. I know it is frustrating, and I know it puts your spirits down. But my advice is this: believe in your skills as a mother and know that with your love for your children, you will choose what is best for them. No matter how many people disagree!

Parenting is hard as it is, it gets 10 times worse when you have someone blaming you for your methods; again, just believe in yourself as a mama. In fact, take this advice which I have learned through a parenting workshop I took with the amazing Hala Ibrahim, a Consultant in Special Educational Needs. List 5 values and 5 skills you want your children to have at the age of 18, when they ready to leave you and move on with their lives. It can be anything from: social skills, religion, independence, kindness, maturity, good time management etc, anything you can think of. And memorise them. Then, every time a situation comes up that is easy or difficult, think:" what action shall I do as a parent that will serve these values and skills?" And suddenly, parenting and sticking to your methods becomes ten times easier.

You are a mama, and I believe that mamas who love their kids and are devoted to them have a gut feeling of what is right and wrong. Listen to your inner mama voice and do what feels right. At the end of the day, your kids will thank you one day for doing the best for them!

Reem said...

dear Noora...
Thanks a lot for taking the time to reply to me :)
it does make A LOT of difference when one feels heard.
& thank you so much for your advises they do make lot's of sense in deed.
I feel a lot better now thanks a lot :)
hope you have a great day just like you made mine a great one ;)