It's Time for Our Marriage
In his book" Don't Sweat The Small Stuff in Love," Richard Carlson advises couples to attend to their marriages not only for the sake of raising the children happily in a home with both parents, but to also teach children to expect the most out of their own marriages. He explains that if children see their parents care about their relationship, dedicate time for date-nights and alone-times, they too will want that in their marriage and expect the same attention from their partners. they will set high standards for their marriages.
I agree with that 100%, yet when I look at my life and the lives of married couples with kids, it seems like we are racing with time! Work is increasingly demanding (especially when it is a one income family), babas run around trying to be the best providers for their families: school tuitions, after school activities, grocery, clothing, medical check-ups etc. while mamas run around raising the kids, doing homework, planning activities, social outings, and attending to their every need. And if the mama works, it's ten times worse. Because mamas and babas are devoted to providing everything they can for their children, life becomes tiring and exhausting; marriage becomes a bit more difficult to maintain and couples may drift apart.
It might be that my kids are still too young but I cannot imagine a time when the responsibilities are a bit less and my husband and I can breathe a little, pay more attention to our marriage, travel for a few days without being constantly worried about our kids, not collapsing by 10pm every night, or having a social life with other married couples where we can go out and come back anytime we want without worrying about bedtimes and midnight wake-up calls. It feels like it will take forever!