Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Flavour Of The Day With Noora

Becoming Dependent

When a woman has children, it is extremely easy to get sucked into a world that revolves around diaper changes, feedings, naps , activities, play dates and lots of other mama-like things. And if this new mama doesn't have other mama friends, she will almost surely lose her connections with her non-mama friends.

In his book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", John Gray states: "it puts too much pressure on a man to make him the only source of love and support." And while Gray wasn't referring to this pressure as an outcome of having children, I felt it applied here as much as it did in his context.

We, mamas I mean, get hooked on taking care of everything and everyone that we almost always lost touch with the outside world for a while. During that time, our partner might become our everything, and men, don't like that. Even if a man appreciates and understands the reasons behind his wife's temporary state of dependence, he will still feel pressured.

One way to snap out of this phase is to divide responsibilities to buy yourself more alone time where you can reconnect with your life outside the duties of motherhood. And while we mamas like to believe that our houses will collapse without our presence, the collapse might not be as dramatic as we thought if any!


Flavour of the Day with Laura Haddad said...
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Reem said...

Icouldnt agree more, im a huge fan of the mars and venus book and i always tell every one its the main reason my married life feels like a smooth sail thank GOD...ithink every wife mama or not should think that she should make her self happy and not put the pressure on her husband or her kids as some moms do to achieve makes every one happier in the end �� HTTP //