Staying at Home for Yousef
No one can really understand what a sacrifice it is to leave work to become a full time mama except a mama who has been through it herself.
I worked for a total of two years before I had Yousef. Although that may seem like a short duration to some, to me, it was a lifetime of professional achievement.
Before I got married, I never thought that I would ever consciously make the decision to leave work and stay at home for anything less than a crisis. Yet, the moment I found out that I was pregnant, the decision to become a stay at home mama seemed to make all the sense in the world. In fact, it was the only way I would have it.
Throughout the course of motherhood however, more often than not, I found myself thinking only of work and how happy I was, how sure I was of who I am and what I wanted to be and how amazing it felt to be appreciated for my intellect. The rush I got from presenting a winning advertising pitch was by far the best feeling in the world. It put me on the top.
While in theory I know that raising a human being that will passionately contribute to his country is one of the most important things that I can do, I cannot help but feel so out of place in my new life.
The annoying thing is that I do not believe that going back to work and leaving Yousef is the right thing to do. Simply put, I am stuck in a swirl of my personal dedication.
I do not know if I am right or wrong, I only know that the way things are going is making me feel incomplete.