Today, my husband and I had a talk about my career. I have always been very work-oriented. Whenever I would think about where I want to be in 5, 10, or even 15 years, I always imagine myself with a job and not just a mama and wife.
That said, when I had Yousef, I decided to take time off work for two reasons:
a) I didn't want anyone to take care of MY baby.
b) I had no one to take care of him, even if that was what I wanted.
Yet, after doing this whole mama thing for a year and a half now, I realise that I need more, I need a career.
My husband has been trying to convince me to go into teaching "for the good of the family", he says. "You get long vacations, appropriate working hours, and most importantly, you make a difference in people's lives". To me, the thought of going into anything other than advertising or marketing is out of the question.
However, when I think of my dream job, I know exactly how demanding it is and right away a million questions pop in my mind: "who will watch the kids after school? Will I have time to do homework with them? Who will do the cooking? Will I have to send them to their after school activities with the nanny?". But again, does this mean that I have to put my own dreams on hold for the next 10 years and hope to god that I still have the energy to pursue them after the kids are grown up?
Nothing about being a mama is fair, every body knows that. But, where does the line between "good mama" end and "selfish mama" begin? Is there any way to choose between mama-land and work without guilt or consequences?